Friday, July 22, 2011

Chapter 38, July 2010, Cancer Strikes my sister Kim's 20 year old daughter

Chapter 38, July 2010, Cancer strikes my sister Kim's 20 year old daughter
My sister Kim is just one year older than me. Growing up I saw her as, part big sister, even though she's as least five inches shorter than me, part Mom, you have lots of Mom's in a family of twelve and last part protector, confidant and friend. Kim is quiet, while I'm out there and loud, she is attentive, making her a good listener. This quality leaves one not only with a wise mind but also an excellent sense of people, their wants, needs and more. Me? I talk too much and could afford to listen more. When I engage in conversation with Kim, because she's on the quiet side, I constantly remind myself to stop talking, ask questions of her and listen for the answers, easier said than done in my book. Because we both enjoy laughter, my goal is often to make her laugh, but she is funny as well.
My whole life I've had the utmost of respect for Kim or Kimbo as I like to refer to her. I'm not sure where that nickname came from but it has stuck for many years. When we were growing up I drove Kimbo crazy. Seeing her in the halls at school would motivate me to call her name out in delight with one of my arms fully extended, waving frantically until I got her attention. This would make her smile and gently roll her eyes while waving back, never ignoring or making fun of me like some of my friends' older siblings' might do to their own brothers or sisters.
Like our Mother, Kim chose nursing as a career. A perfect match, she is calm in a crisis, compassionate and makes intelligent decisions while chaos is swirling around her. A good example of this came while observing an accident during a family vacation. Mom, who was in her late seventies at the time, slipped and fell, causing a blow to her head and what appeared to be an extreme amount of blood loss. Everyone was in a panic, especially the pool employees, running around like chickens without their heads. Kim calmed the crowd down, gave them a list of what she needed and went about saving the day.
How did she grow into this strong, confident woman? I'm not sure. Who knows how and why humans are shaped and formed? Obviously it is partly genetics as well as environmental, among other situations. Reflecting back, I can recall a few incidents where Kim had the grace of a cool, calm adult but she hadn't even hit her teens. The most vivid experience came on a cold February morning in Minnesota, the year was 1967 and we were all sick with the flu, everyone except Kim that is. Having one sick kid can be a challenge for a parent, so imagine what it might be like having 10 sick kids ranging in age from 3 to 17. My Mother needed assistance and Kimbo was there to help.
Some of us were awake, but still in bed upstairs, a few were asleep, and Kim, along with my Mother was awake in the kitchen making breakfast, including eggs and pancakes. Kim was dressed in her school clothes. Mom tied a rectangular long cloth around Kim's neck to keep her freshly ironed clothes clean for school.
All of a sudden we heard screaming and yelling followed by a scuffle. Don't get me wrong, these kinds of outbursts were no strangers at the O'Brien household, but not usually this early and none of us could figure out who could have been involved since we were all sick in bed. This prompted a few of us to go downstairs to check out the situation. As we stepped into the kitchen we saw our dad practically on top of Kimbo folding her up inside his blanket.
Kim had gotten a little too close to the gas flame from the stove top causing the protective apron she was wearing to burst into flames, Kim began screaming my Mom ran and tried to put the fire out. My Dad heard the ruckus, and for no apparent reason grabbed a blanket, ran to the kitchen putting out the fire with that blanket.
My Dad rushed her to the hospital to eventually find out she had third degree burns on her face, neck and chest. She had a week's stay in the hospital putting her through a painful recovery. When she finally came home she wasn't allowed visitors, nor were we. My parents thought other children might make fun of her so they kept her isolated, letting only us, her siblings to play and entertain. Perhaps this is why I love to try to make her laugh. Kimbo was left with no scarring on her face, but her neck and chest carry a few marks that are unrecognizable unless you are aware of what had happened all those years ago.
Her painful recovery seemed to go so smoothly, mainly because she never complained or felt sorry for herself. She was a trooper. This type of incident would leave anyone with some powerful, life changing emotions. Kim was just eleven years old. I imagine it helped form her into the spectacular person that she has become today.
Another situation I witnessed Kim endure must been the following summer. We had the misfortune of living next to a crazy pedophile who tried to have his way with me and some of my younger sisters. We all hated the guy. One night we climbed his fence and stole a few of his green apples from one of his many apple trees. He caught Kimbo, trapped her under his trailer and sprayed her repeatedly in the face until she couldn't breathe. She finally escaped gasping and crying, but holding her head up high acting brave as hell. She was my hero that night!
I could go on and on about how my big sister came to have the personality and strength she has but I don't think I have enough paper. I just know I'm proud to be her sister.
Kim's daughter gets cancer
July 2010 my sister Kim's daughter Kelsey had been experiencing some abdominal pain as well as being able to palpate a moveable lump in her lower abdominal area. Kim, being a nurse, jumped right on getting her a visit to their physician to see what was going on. The first lab they ran was blood and urine tests to check for pregnancy. The urine culture came back 100% positive for pregnancy. The next two hours were spent trying to find a heartbeat of a fetus that was not there. The blood test came back negative for pregnancy. A gynecologist was called in to do an ultrasound, but the doc was sure she wasn't pregnant because of the negative blood test. The ultrasound showed a giant mass but they were not sure what it was. They were also unable to locate her ovary so they thought perhaps it was a fibroid tumor. Because of their uncertainty, they referred Kim to the Mayo Clinic, a much larger hospital. The Mayo doc thought it was a uterine fibroid or an ovarian fibroma.

Everyone was in agreement that surgery to remove the benign mass was necessary. Most of my Minnesota family members went to the clinic to wait with my sister Kim, her husband Joe and step daughter Erica for the results of the surgery. Prior to going into the operating room, the physician was quite sure that everything was benign and it would be just a routine surgery. It wasn't until Kelsey was on the operating table that they realized this was cancer, a tumor the size of a grapefruit. Devastation was the word for the day. My usually strong, silent, stoic sister Kim and her husband Joe felt as if they'd been punched in the gut. At this point they did not know the stage of the cancer or type. They were just left with this familiar, negative impact of the word cancer. The pathology came back with a stage one cancer called disgerminoma in her right ovary which was removed.
After the initial shock wore off, Kim and Joe buckled down, camped out 24/7 until Kelsey was allowed to come home. Everyone, including Alex, Katie and Frankie, that was able to make the trip to Minnesota to support Kimbo, Erica and Joe was on the road within hours. Kelsey was home within a few days. The Surgeon was sure they removed all of the cancer. It had not spread to the lymph nodes or other vital organs which was also excellent news.
Advice
The best advice I can give you from this chapter is early detection! Kelsey is into Yoga, which helps her know her body well. She did not waste time making an appointment with a physician, which is key in early detection. Know yourself, know your body!

2 comments:

  1. Dear Kristy,
    Your blog is a testament t your strength & courage. I know it's been long time, but I'm living my life differently now. I feel I have some amends to make to you. Please contact me, I would like to set things right. My prayers are with you & your family.

    Karen Howells

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi,

    I have a quick question about your blog, do you think you could e-mail me?

    Heather

    ReplyDelete