Chapter 35, 2010, Spring Break

Chapter 35, 2010 Spring Break

Frankie is going to the Villages, the retirement community in Florida, to visit Mike's Mom for spring break with her friend Maria. She just wants to be somewhere warm and doesn't care, not much anyway, that she'll be surrounded by retired people rather than teenage boys. Alex is driving with a few college friends to her boyfriend Steve's parent's home in Florida. They have graciously offered their condo on the beach as well as their home inland to Steve and his classmates for the week. This is very generous of them.

Katie, unlike her sisters, has no plans. She suggests a road trip to Minnesota for the two of us since we are the only ones who share the same spring break schedule. Her motivation for this request, in my opinion, comes from seeing me deteriorate over the past several months. Those who know me well notice a mental burden resting on my shoulders subduing the spring in my step and outward enthusiasm for life. I have felt the need to see my parents due to my current state of health so I agree to the journey. Mike has a lot going on at work and is unable to make the trip and Frankie is still in school which leaves the two of them home to care for the dog.

My cancer is being controlled by the current chemo but at an extremely high cost, not only literally, but physically. The three treatments I've had are some of the roughest yet. It brings back memories of the first chemo after the initial metastasis. Let's just say I'm back to the soldier days of putting one foot in front of the other and pushing myself every single day to survive, to make it through.

Katie and I plan to leave our home around three pm beating our rush hour and avoiding Chicago's as well. Driving into Chicago is always busy but if you hit that town at the wrong time it can add two hours or more to your trip. We are going to stop in Chicago and stay overnight at my friend Jeanne's because I can't drive twelve hours straight and her house is just about half way making it a nice break. Unfortunately Jeanne will be out of town on our way through, but offers her place for the night which I gladly accept. We plan to stay the night get up early, grab a Starbuck's and get back on the road after rush hour again dies down in the morning. The perfect travel plans.

By the way, we do back out of our driveway at exactly the scheduled time, unheard of when Mike is in charge of the trip. Before we pull away I ask Katie to notice the time and the calm fashion the two of us packed the car to an organized state. If you recall, as a family we always fight when leaving for a trip. Mike insists on packing the car by himself and then we wait in the car in the driveway until he is ready to go. I feel packing the car should be a shared responsibility. If you bring it, you are responsible for hauling it in and out of the car. With that we are on our way to hopefully a rewarding adventure.

The drive is uneventful. We talk about school and love interests, not that Katie really has any. There are always boys interested in her, but she tells them right off that she doesn't really date and is a commitment phoebe. They try to no avail to change her mind and then move on without any luck. Katie has a new roommate this semester. The original one left at the end of fall semester. The new one dropped a few items off in the room met Katie briefly and had not been seen or heard from for two months until one day Katie was changing out in the open, because there was never anyone there, and she looked up saw the roommate sleeping in her bed. She was shocked as she ran quickly into the bathroom to finish changing. She never saw the girl after that, but enjoyed having her own space.

We have nothing to argue about other than Katie's choice of music. Unlike my parents, or mostly my dad, I let the kids listen to the music they like rather than them listening to mine. Usually I like their style of tunes if it's some form of top 40 but she has gotten into some nasty rap that I can't bear to listen to. What happened to the feminist movement anyway? These musicians call woman bitches and other derogatory names as well as discuss overt sexual acts in plain English. The music of my era may have had questionable lyrics, but I rarely understood what they were saying or what it meant. There is no question in your mind what they are discussing here. Some songs I just have to ask her to turn off because I can't take listening to them.

We're getting hungry and closer to Chicago at the same time. Katie is in the mood for steak. If we wait to eat until Chicago, we'll have to take out a second mortgage to pay for the meal and we may have a long wait on a Saturday evening. We opt to get off the Turnpike and look for a chain type restaurant which we found after about an hour of driving. Steak was on the menu leading us to each order a different version of it. After just a few bites we put down the forks and knives, settled the bill and walked out. I thought it may have tasted bad to me because chemo makes everything taste different but Katie's was awful as well. Sometimes my frugal ways get in the way of a smart decision. We wasted gas, food money and time trying to save a buck. Going to a Chicago restaurant probably would have been cheaper and much better tasting in the long run. Katie now gets sick at the mere mention of that chain and refuses to eat there again.

Jeanne's warm condo was waiting for us. Finding a parking spot, as always, is a challenge in the city. Fortunately we found one just a half block down from her place which is a cute town home near the freeway and surrounded by many of the conveniences a city has to offer. We always enjoy staying with her. In typical Jeanne fashion she has breakfast items laid out and a list of what all is available to us. The first order of business was to put on our pajamas get into bed on turn on the television. It was late and we were both tired.

As always, Katie had trouble falling asleep and I had trouble sleeping through the night. It had nothing to do with the accommodations because they were perfect but I have a hard time sleeping anywhere but my own bed. By 9:00 am we were showered and out the door briefly stopping at Starbucks for coffee and tea before we hit the highway. Sunday morning traffic in Chicago is fairly light. Thank you. There are about six and a half hours left on the trip. Katie and I are going to meet family members that live in Minneapolis for dinner. This includes Angie and her family, Mary and her son and husband, Kerry and her daughter Rubina. As we arrive we are happy to get out and stretch our legs and walk around. Surprisingly it is a beautiful March day in Minneapolis. The temperature is about 55 degrees, almost balmy for the area at this time of year.

My place at the table is next to Katie and Rubina, Kerry's daughter, the eight year old adopted child from a Russian orphanage, who can be a bit of a pickle. At this young age she is demanding and enjoys having her way. Today however she is quiet and coloring. Her therapist, as she informs me, tells her that coloring calms you down; she continues on saying that she has an anger management problem. I guess I can see that and am happy Kerry is helping her in the way of counseling. Her Mom Kerry looks good; she is still recovering from her own cancer and chemo experience. Her wigs looks great and very natural, I actually thought it was her own hair. As anyone would be, Kerry is relieved to be free of cancer and no longer on chemo.

It is nice to be sitting at the table with half of my family after this long trip. I let Katie order a cocktail to celebrate her own spring break, an extremely small percentage of what she would normally drink if on a break with her friends. The late afternoon meal is spent catching up with everyone leaving out anything to do with my health. This is not a time to get serious or sad but to laugh and cherish this time that we have with one another. By the time dinner is over I am ready to go home, unpack and rest. We hug and kiss everyone goodbye and then head for Angie and her husband Rico's home. Their house is also inviting with clean rooms full of beautifully decorated items including big comfortable couches, attractive views of nature and all the tasty treats you can think of. We visit for awhile longer after we arrive home and then head for bed since everyone besides us has to be to work by 8:00 the next morning.

Angie is a paraprofessional at a local junior high working with students challenged in the homework department. On our way out to a shopping mall Katie and I stop to visit and meet many of her friends and coworkers. She currently doesn't have students in her room and is able to give us the grand tour. Leading us through the halls joking and laughing with everyone she meets. It is apparent that she enjoys what she does, like teach a little Yoga breathing to a student with test anxiety before they sit down to take an exam. She also brings snacks from home for students that don't get a proper breakfast in the morning. Her love and care goes a long way with these kids.

Our next stop is shopping for Katie. Her first question, "How much do I get to spend?" Because her sister's were given money for their trips Katie is allowed the same amount for whatever she wants to get. DSW a shoe Warehouse is one of her favorite stores. She thinks she's Kerry Bradshaw from Sex in the City, on a budget. Katie is in love with shoes. I wonder if it stems from the fact that she had to make do with her sister's hand me down dance shoes. At any rate, she is now all about the Ugg boots and designer heels.

Katie, like a detective, scours the store for the perfect boot, trying on more than I can count. After finding almost the perfect pair she is afraid to make a decision too soon for fear of missing out on something even better at another shop. We move on to many other outlets until it is time to go back to Angie's. Alas there was no better pair of boots out there which means we have to go back to DSW but it is too late and we'll have to wait until the morning. According to Katie, these boots were almost perfect and above all, they were on sale at a great price which is probably why they were gone when we went back, even though we asked them to hold them for us. This was all Katie needed to ruin her vacation. She sulked around the rest of the day until we were driving to my parents, about 90 miles south of Minneapolis and I reminded her why we took this vacation in the first place. It wasn't for the shopping or the shoes, but for a memory of some mother, daughter bonding. By the time we reached my parents she was fine.

Today is St. Patrick's Day, a big celebration in the O'Brien house. Because dad is from Northern Ireland we've always had a family celebration with a good meal and a green cake. When we were young we would do the Irish jig as a family at schools or churches. I remember one such occasion where my older sister Kim, a year older than me, was jigging down the line of us and her little skirt just dropped to the floor, she must have been around six years old. The poor kid was devastated but like a trooper she pulled it up quickly as we all giggled with nervous laughter.

Many people in the town of 18,000 knew of the O'Brien's. Dad owned a Goodyear Store and he had a jingle on a local radio station which went like this; Frank O'Brien the tire man the Goodyear man from Ireland, nobody does it better than Frank O'Brien the Goodyear man. Not only was the jingle famous in our surrounding area but so was the legendary Irish coffee served at 7:00 am on St. Patrick's Day! I'll never forget the evening I saw my dad asleep on the couch at 6:00 pm on a St. Patrick's Day missing our party because of too much Irish imbibing at the store! One positive note, it was the most lucrative day for tire sales. My dad would pull out the Irish Brogue and charm and sell, sell, sell! There is no better salesman than an Irishmen with the gift of storytelling.

Katie enjoyed our St. Patty's Day party with her older cousins, Kelsey, Jack, Sean, Charlie and Alycia who is my niece Angie's daughter but she is same age as Frankie. The two are only four months apart in age but quite different in demeanor. One example of this came to light on a trip to the Mall of America. Frankie and Alycia went on a log ride together at the age of five. This is a ride where they take a picture on your descent hoping to capture the crazy faces people make of fear, exhilaration or excitement, all of which can be quite funny. Alycia looked like a little puppy dog with her head out the window of a car, pigtails flapping in the wind. Frankie on the other hand was sitting up as erect as a board, eyes wide with terror and her mouth open with what must have been a blood curdling scream trying to come out. We still pull that picture out and laugh every time.

Our visit to Minnesota was short and sweet. The side effects of the chemo have been ok and not kept me from doing anything fun with my family. Seeing all of them has given me the lift I needed to keep pushing on with this journey. Katie and I will be leaving in the morning for Chicago. We plan on staying with Jeanne Thursday and Friday but heading back to Elyria early Saturday morning. Jeanne is working on Friday leaving Katie and I to our own devices in the city until 5:00. We are having dinner with friends Denice and Pete when Jeanne and Denice get off work.

We start on North Michigan Avenue closer to the lakefront. Many of the shops on this street are expensive, but fun to walk through and look for bargains. We spend most of the day shopping or at least Katie does. I'm just along for the ride. We stop for lunch, I try to contact my friend Annette who works on this street but I went to the wrong building, go figure, my brain doesn't always work the way I want it to. The weather is beautiful in Chicago today making it easy for us to walk all the way down Michigan Avenue.

As we make our way through the street of stores I remind Katie that there is a DSW not too far away and perhaps they'll have the elusive boots. I was wrong it was at least five miles away but we wouldn't find that out until we were more than half way there. We could have taken a cab but again I am too cheap and getting exercise is always on my mind which means we walk. It is late, almost 5:00 and DSW is in sight. Thank God! My feet are killing me and I am getting crabby along with Katie.

The search begins up and down every single isle. We can't find the boots but there are many other styles Katie tries on. She is getting upset all over again until I walk into my favorite section, clearance, and see a familiar boot. Can this be it? I don't think so because they have two pair in Katie's size. I pick them up, walk over to her and ask if these are the ones? Her sheepish little pout lights up like its Christmas morning while I comment on what little faith she has for everything to work out! This makes the trip a success, not only that but Denice and Pete's townhome is just a few blocks away getting us there at exactly the right time.

Pete is retired at 55 giving him the time to make dinner. He like Denice worked for the City in Human Resources. Denice is still there while Pete enjoys retirement, babysitting a few days a week with his grandchild. Their home is lovely with a balcony running the span of the apartment, boasting granite counter tops and beautiful wood floors. Pete has made pasta with and without meat sauce for those of us honoring Lent. The evening was relaxing with a bottle of wine and quite conversation which we needed because our feet were killing us. We were back to Jeanne's and in bed by 10:00 pm.

The week has slipped by so quickly. Jeanne, being the perfect hostess, makes a breakfast before our six hour drive home. Both of us are glad to see Mike and Frankie upon arriving home. It is always nice going on a trip but even nicer to get home and back into your normal routine. I'll remember the trip with Katie forever!

Advice

Continued survival through a terminal illness will lead you down a path of hills and valleys. Enjoy the hills; pick up steam from them so you have the energy to make it through the more difficult times.

Use memories of days gone by to remind you of how things have been and could be again.

Spend time separately with each one of your children, siblings, parents or friends and give them your undivided attention. You'll learn so much more about one another.

Take a road trip to somewhere fun, get lost in the joy of it diverting your attention from your woes.

Again, exercise, breathe deep, enjoy