Chapter 21, June 21, 2004, My One Year Anniversary

Chapter 21 June 21, 2004 My One Year Anniversary

June 21, 2004, it has been a full year since my stage four Breast Cancer metastases to the liver was diagnosed. Other than a bit of fatigue, you'd never know there was anything wrong with me, everything looks and feels ordinary. What type of fatigue does a healthy 48 year old person feel anyway? This question plagues me, but is answered with; it depends on one's fitness level. If you've taken care of yourself throughout your life through diet and exercise, kept your bad habits to a moderate level, and are free of disease, living can feel good well into older age.
Symptoms of my disease continue to hide in normalcy, I have no pain, my CAT scans show no growth in the liver tumors, the hormone suppressant I take, (Femara), has not proved any negative side effects, and The Oil and Protein Diet I've been doing for the past six months has left me feeling satisfied. My head can't wrap around the fact that I have a year left to live, it doesn't seem possible. This lack of belief will help me in the long run.
This anniversary will be remembered and celebrated every year I survive from here on out with Mike, the girls, and my good friend Cindy, the original characters from the commencement of this journey. Everyone is served Kentucky Fried Chicken and beer or pop for the kids. I indulge in food from my diet along with 4 ounces of red, dry wine, all allowable ingredients.
Our conversations drift over the past year as we recognize how different the mood is this evening. That first night after my diagnosis we admit our fears let us visit the worst case scenarios in our minds, pictures of a sickly woman struggling to survive the two year diagnosis.
My current reality is anything but. The strength and confidence coming from me are noticeable; my gratitude is a symbol of hope. I can't shout out my appreciation enough. Will I be here next year at this time, my two year anniversary? Of course I will! There is no other alternative to imagine. Seeing myself at my children's' milestones keeps me moving and fighting, the bleacher's hold me while I watch Alex, my first born receive her diploma. That is just three short years away, 2007. Katie will graduate in 2009, Frankie, my youngest will graduate in 2012, I vow be here for all of those occasions!

Advice
Realize that a terminal diagnosis can be negotiated by you and with you. Doctors have statistics they work from, don't let yourself be a statistic. Keep on fighting until you no longer have the strength to fight. Realize your own power in your struggle.
Celebrate every anniversary; be grateful for your will to survive.
Take any positives steps necessary to prolong your life.
Keep your eyes on the prize, staying around for all of the special moments