Capter 17 Christmas 2003 in Minnesota

Chapter 17 Christmas 2003 in Minnesota

Mike, the girls, and I are traveling to Minnesota to celebrate the Christmas holiday with my family. It has been several years since we've been home for Christmas so we are looking forward to the trip. Albert Lea is the name of the town I grew up in. The population is around 18,000 and there is not much to do at the height of winter, besides skating, skiing or sledding. We do manage to make it up to the Mall of America to do a little last minute Christmas shopping. This mall boasts an indoor amusement park along with the many stores so it is easy to spend a warm day in the middle of the coldest season of the year. As always we meet up with my other siblings and their families for a day of Christmas shopping and amusement park fun.
Christmas Eve was upon us, this year will be especially nice because my oldest brother Brendan, not so recently divorced and his son Mike make the long trip from San Francisco to be with us. Brendan's other two children Christine and Amy were unable join us. I have not seen Michael since he was a young boy. The circumstances motivating their visit, my health, are sad, but seeing them both makes me happy. Brendan has lived in San Francisco for the last twenty years. He runs his own landscaping business and can never get away, so consequently, he and his family have missed our summer family reunions in Minnesota Brendan has always been special to me. He is the first born, the prodigal son, in high school he was a great at everything, straight A student, accomplished track and cross country star and a bit of a ladies man. I believe he still holds the record at our high school for the mile run, set in 1968. I've always admired him. College life in the late 60's opened his eyes to a different way of thinking and living. He joined a Commune, so to speak, and left everything behind for the hippie lifestyle in Northern California. Brendan is a gentle, kind soul who plods away at his work without complaint and I respect him for that.
When we first see Mike he seems a bit shy, the O'Brien's are an overwhelming group. He is a handsome kid, a good mix of his mother and father. His eyes are big and wide taking all the O'Brien family antics in. There is laughter and bickering and political conversations going on. When we are all home in my parent's house there is chatter all around. You don't know which conversation to dip into next.
That night we went to Midnight Mass. My dad is the choir director at the church and my mom sings in the choir. My feelings about the church were mixed. This was the church where I made my First Communion and Confirmation; it was also the church where my younger brother's funeral was held. Memories flooded my mind as I walked in.
St. Theodore's is also the church where my siblings and I would spill into muffled laughter during sermons. Tonight was no exception, even though we are all adults. My sister Paddy, who hasn't been to church in years, went to Communion and as the priest lifted the host to her she took it out of his hand. Generally you wait for the priest to put the host in your mouth or your hand. He looked a little shocked when Paddy grabbed it from him. Paddy is my highly successful, older sister, by three years. She made the trip with her daughter Samantha, her husband David and Step daughter Sarah have stayed home. Paddy is a Radio Sales Representative in Los Angeles and could sell boats in the desert. When she was little, she was going door to door selling Girl Scout cookies, upon reaching a neighbors house ready to knock, the door flew open as a woman flew out in excitement yelling, "Your Mom just had her baby," Paddy's response was, "My Mom 's always having babies, you wanna buy some cookies?"
Paddy's antics may have set the tone for our chuckling, but the animated priest brought it home. As he makes the sign of the cross, his arms fully extend and he completely exaggerates, pointing to the north, south, east and west, as he yells out, in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Ghost, this made us laugh under our breath even more. During the sermon he would pause and turn his head slightly upward like he was listening intently to someone, and then he would look back at the parishioners with great enthusiasm and delve back into his story. Need I spell it out? This behavior brought around many smiles to the badly behaved O'Brien's in the first three rows at church. You'd never know we were all in our forties and fifties. The light laughter mixed with love and warmth carried through the entire service.
After mass we said hello to a few familiar faces. Everyone knew about my condition; word travels fast in a small town. They were all praying for me. There was no shortage of tears and hugs. It was nice. I saw a grade school friend, Jim Hockinson, a boy I bit in the arm and held on like a dog with a bone after being called flatso one too many times. I was teased relentlessly about my 28 A bra size in the 6th grade. He never teased me again after that incident, or let me forget it.
Afterwards we went home for a Christmas Eve celebration filled with good food, cocktails, and as always, a dose of controversy. My nephew Mike was surrounded by family members he had not met or couldn't remember. His big eyes roamed the crowd. All of his cousins were interested in getting to know him so for the remainder of the evening he was peppered with questions and conversations. It did my heart good to see him bonding with his relatives after all these years.
Christmas day was a typical O'Brien get together. Most of us were home. We missed my brother Brian and his family, Maureen and John's children and my sister Alice. Brian is a great guy. We love having him at family events because he is a wonderful cook and a fun, loving guy. He, his second wife Rhonda and his kids, Heather, Joe and Ryan stayed in Denver for the Holiday. My sister Alice and her life mate, Martin, live in Iowa. They prefer quiet Christmases so they stay in Iowa, but are always home for Thanksgiving. Maureen's children Tony who lives in Colorado and Angie and her family who live in Arizona were also unable to make it home.
The morning was busy with food preparation. First there was coffee, breakfast and conversation, nothing about my illness, just light talk. That was followed up by dinner preparation. My Mom started making her usual 22lb turkey early in the morning.
Opening Christmas gifts is an early ritual because the kids are too anxious to wait. At the O'Brien house we move slowly around the room watching one person at a time open their gifts so the moment and statements can be cherished.
Dinner is served after all the morning and afternoon hustle bustle. We set up a buffet style for the big crowd, Dad quiets us all down, which isn't easy so he usually gets a little testy and then he thanks God for all of us getting there safely, this year he adds a special prayer for me and my health which brings tears to a few eyes and finally we eat.
When you have twenty or more family members together in a small space for an extended period of time, with or without alcohol, there is bound to be drama. There has never been an O'Brien function without it. Dad, or another family member makes a comment that offends someone, not on purpose, but it happens then feelings are hurt and an argument ensues. Two of my sisters lightly bicker about who was doing more cleaning up after dinner. Some people in my family sit around and relax after dinner and others have to get up clean right away. Disagreements arise because of this. There is rarely a dull or quiet moment at the O'Brien's.
On such holidays, it is good to see everyone and good to go home. We left the day after Christmas. Everyone stopped at Mom and Dad's for breakfast and goodbyes. The mood was quiet and loving. Eyes glistened with tears. We all hugged one another a little tighter. Hugs for Mom and Dad were a little tighter than usual to assure them I was strong and ready to fight. Gone were the memories of any squabbling from the day before. My girls, fond of their new found friendship with their cousin Mike, made him promise to stay in touch. Mike told Alex he'd be around to take her out for her 1st drink at 21.
On our way home we made a brief stop in Chicago, the town where our two older daughters were born. It's also the town where two of my best friends, Jeanne Rivard and Della Garcia, godmothers' to my daughters, live. I met Jeanne about a year after I moved to Chicago. We worked for a crazy guy named Paul Stuck, he was the owner Recycled Furniture. The man spent most of his time ranting and raving or calculating ways to screw people. It was an interesting job. Jeanne and I became fast friends in 1984 and have remained so ever since.
1984 was also my first encounter with Della, but it was just over the phone. She was forced by her boss to buy some furniture from us, she was not happy about it and she wasn't afraid to tell us. When she called our company we would all yell "It's Della!" I was afraid of her because she came across as an angry woman over the phone. Della was an absolute perfectionist but Paul Stuck's Recycled Furniture was not. Little did I know, Mike Wetzel, my future husband whom I had not met yet, also an absolute perfectionist was the person who sold Della and her company all of their brand new, nice furniture. It was a huge account for Mike and he and Della had a good working relationship, hence the anger spewing from her voice every time she called.
It wasn't until a year later that I met Della in person through none other than Mike Wetzel. I met them both at the same time. I was working at a different company, one that cleaned office furniture. Mike had called about a client that had some smoke damage to their office furniture and needed our services.
Della's company was the client, and I was scared to death to meet her! I met Mike first, in the lobby of Della's building, he was cute and I could tell he thought I was cute. This made me a little less nervous. Once we sat down with Della and I met her big, brown, warm eyes with mine I could see that she was a puppy dog and not the angry bear I had once witnessed over the phone. We eventually became great friends. Mike and I started dating a few weeks later as well.
Della and Jeanne have been in our lives sharing all of our ups and downs. They were at our wedding our special occasions, the birth of our daughters, birthdays, and anniversaries. I was hospitalized three months after Alex was born with a kidney infection. Jeanne came to the hospital with Mike while Della took care of Alex. Not only did Alex scream the whole night, but Della came outside to find her car stolen. Jeanne and Della have always been there for me.
Mike and I spent many good years in Chicago and made many friends. We did not have time to see all of the people we love and care about, but we did stop to see Della and Jeanne. They are like family to us and we don't see them often enough. They are devastated by my illness and again offer whatever we may need in the form of love and help. I assure them as well that I'm ready for a fight.
Advice
Make time to share special occasions with family you don't see often.
Make it a priority to see old friends, their love and support will motivate you.
Let your kids or loved one's see how important relationships are.
Share fun times with your family when your sick so they see that life goes on even in, or especially in difficult situatons